I'm not losing weight for my wedding and here's why

I was never the girl who had a wedding board on her Pinterest. Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted to get married. I am such a loving person and love hearing every couple’s love story of how they met and love watching romantic movies. I know many girls know from a young age of what kind of wedding they want. That was never me. However, as Matt and I got more serious and the discussion of marriage came up I could not help but get excited and begin pinning. I was getting to marry the guy of my dreams and my best friend. The guy who really gets who I am and loves me for that.

Fast forward to engagement..

Then onto wedding planning. The first solid step of wedding planning for us was me finding my weddings dress. Now I know to some people that seems a little backwards. We didn’t even know what state we were going to have the wedding in at this time. My mom and I went to The Boutique by B. Belle Eventsin Downtown Charleston, WV and truly had the best experience! Belle and her staff were wonderful and I am so glad we went there. I did say yes to the dress my first time trying on dresses. It was truly an experience e I will never forget.

Right after Jillian got us something to drink, she asked about the theme of my wedding, my fiancé, and really got to know me and what I pictured my wedding day to be like. I remember her asking what I wanted to feel like. I told her I wanted to feel comfortable and feel like the best version of me. Now to some brides and people in general, the best version of themselves they seem to think is them being smaller but I would STRONGLY question that. When I was trying to be smaller and not in a good place with my body, I was a hangry, unhappy person and not the best version of myself. I was not in a good place. It was in that moment that I felt most thankful to be in a good place with my body, myself, The Lord, and my fiancé. I realized that on this day the most important day of my life I wanted to be focused on the love I have for Matt and the fact that we get to spend the rest of our lives together. This day is our beginning. I realized all the things I did not want to be focusing on. I did not want to be focused on something that was not me. I did not want to be focused on how thin I did or did not look in my dress. I did not want to be chasing a thin body.

I remember Jillian warning me that dresses run smaller than jeans and to not freak out if I was a larger size than I normally can. I can tell you right now that I do not even know the size of the dress I got because that was not even important to me. I remember telling her the size I thought I might be. I am not going to put that number on here as it may be triggering to someone.

I can tell you what I do remember. I remember how I felt in my dress. I remember I felt beautiful. I felt like my true self. My best self. Isn’t that how we all want to feel? It has been a long road on this way to be where I am today with my body and it was not easy. If you are struggling with body image or disordered eating please seek help. It is not like there are days that I wake up that I still don’t have negative thoughts every now and again. It’s hard not to in a society that is constantly telling us we need to change something about ourselves. Hello billion dollar diet industry. However, what gives me joy is that God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The God who created the whole universe thought that the world needed a Whitney Carney.. or a Whitney Long.